CHOSEN Sweatshirt

Insecurities used to control me. Around two years ago I was very insecure and those insecurities controlled my thoughts, what I ate and my mental health. I would constantly look in the mirror just to point out what I hated about myself. 

Until one day I went to look in the mirror, as I usually did. I began to point out my insecurities but something was different. As I pointed out each of my insecurities I kept hearing in my head “But God loves you so why does it matter”. It was like a thought but I knew it wasn’t my own. I was honestly very confused because I had never thought about myself that way and I didn’t understand why in that moment I couldn’t see myself as ugly. I was overcome with a feeling of deep love and I began to cry. I felt as though I was looking at myself through God’s eyes. 

Right after this my mom called me for dinner and after dinner we did a devotional. We were reading out of a children's bible because my brother was still pretty young at the time. That day we read the story of Rachel and Leah (Genesis 29-30) but this children’s bible had an interesting take on the story that I had never heard before. Rachel and Leah were sisters. Rachel was very beautiful and popular, but nobody noticed Leah. Both of these girls ended up getting married to the same man through tricks of their father. Rachel was loved by her husband but Leah was not loved. When God saw that Leah was not loved and that no one wanted her, God chose her. He loved her specially and enabled her to have children when Rachel could not. What’s even more amazing is that God used Leah’s family to rescue the whole world! And once Leah knew that God loved her it didn’t matter anymore that her husband didn’t love her or that she wasn’t the prettiest. Someone had chosen her and someone did love her. And this love was better than any other love. This love was unending, unbreakable, unconditional, deep and perfect love. When she had a baby boy she named him Judah which means, this time I will praise the Lord! And from the family line of Judah, many generations later, Jesus, the saviour of the world, was born. 

After hearing this story I realised that it really didn’t matter what the world thought of me but what mattered was that God loved me. I no longer cared about worldly beauty but instead I cared that my heart was beautiful. Since that day I have not felt insecure of what I look like. I feel as though I have a glimpse of what God sees in me. That I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that He made me perfectly, just the way He intended to. 

So I want to remind you today:

• You are beautiful 
• You are fearfully and wonderfully made 
• God loves you with a deep, never ending, unconditional, perfect, love
• God made you perfectly, just how He intended to
• No part about you was ever a mistake, God formed you in your mother’s womb and He loved you even before you were born. 

The Jesus StoryBook Bible: Story of Rachel and Leah